Icebreakers for Breaking the Ice with Students when the Ice needs to be Broken

or Questions to Ask Students as Conversation Starters:

In student ministry there can sometimes be a tension between you as a strange adult and the teenagers you are called to reach. Some situations lend themselves to being less awkward than others. In student ministry it has always been my habit to frequent school lunches, band concerts, sporting events, and other extra-curricular events. Nothing can be more daunting the high school cafeteria as a youth worker, if the schools even allow you in. These questions really help break the ice and get kids talking and help you avoid that awkward silence.

First one of my main stand-by’s is a generic “favorites” question:
“What is your favorite…?” (I switch it up all the time: movie, band, book, song, sport, athlete, cheese, food, candy, website, form of torture, word for snow [if they are eskimo, cause eskimo's have 29 different words for snow] etc, etc)

“If you could go anywhere in the world and money wasn’t issue, where would you go and what would you do?”

You can turn this in a spiritual direction too but of course don’t have to. It lends itself to talking about missions, lifestyles, poverty, helping/serving others, etc.

What is something that really makes you mad?

or When was the last time you got really angry about something? (sounds like a weird question but you would be surprised how kids will open up and the oppurtunities it gives you to take things in a spiritual direction.)

I used to ask kids “Do you twitter?” but after several took it to mean something completely inappropriate and the police got involved, I don’t so much use that question anymore!!!

How can I pray for you?

–you would be surprised how well this works, even with wait staff at restaurants will spill there guts with knowing little more about whether you drink tea or coke and that you like ranch on the side. Kids will open up too. I rarely lead with this one of course but I find I use it more with kids that are not in my youth group than those that are. It can make a great impression on the student the next time you see them to let them know you prayed for them and ask how it worked out. They will be astounded that you cared enough to remember let alone pray about it.

I also often ask kids if they have a myspace or a facebook? and A new one I am thinking about trying out is asking kids if they have ever googled their own name?

This originated as a comment on my friend and fellow co-laborer in Student Ministry Ryan Weaver at his blog Terminal Confession.

Summer lovin, havin' a blast!

Well ministry in the summer for a youth pastor is always crazy busy but when I realized I had not contributed to my blog in over a month I was aghast. I think I was aghast anyway, I am not sure what that means really.

While I do hope to return to some more regularity in my postings I know the summer is still activity laden and its prime time to hang with students outside rather than peck away at a dimly lit keyboard inside.

This summer has already brought great highs and lows in ministry. Here are some highlights:

At VBS, where I lead the closing ceremonies each night and presented the gospel on Thursday night we saw around 25 children saved by grace and acknowledge Jesus as leader and friend; two teenagers as well.

Immediately after VBS we set sail for Colorado, Woodland Park to be exact, for youth camp. Where we suffered in temperatures fluctuating between the high 30's at night and low 70's during the day. We saw students experience regeneration while others experienced restoration and healing. I am so proud of what God the Father did in the life of his children at Quaker Ridge. And I am amazed and broken more than ever at what teenagers are going through and what burdens they are often carrying alone attempting to deal with and live with.

On top of that I got to preach on Fathers Day while our pastor was on vacation. It was awesome as I was delirious with sleep deprivation from camp and the drive back from Colorado. But it was also perfect since it was my first Fathers Day as a father. I had the perfect sermon seeing as how I am the perfect dad and Eli at 10 months is still the perfect son.

On top of that I faced one of the most difficult crisis' and hurts of my whole entire ministry career. While some things are easier to deal with than others I believe restoration, protection, healing and forgiveness will be the outcome of what otherwise could have caused great devastation of lives for some. Of course I will not go into detail here but personally my wife and I experienced: hurt, betrayal, embarrassment, bewilderment, despair, stress, and frustration, among other things. No one ever really sees the consequences of their actions on everyone else until it is much too late.

We had a work day at church like no other. You may know how every church that has been around awhile seems to collect church members stuff that they can't get rid of any other way. Somehow it ends up at the church. We cleaned out at least 4 packed rooms of just 30 years or more of accumulated junk. We finished a major component in the remodeling of our student ministry area. We cleaned, we hammered and we ate pizza and it was the most fun I have had doing manual labor with friends in a very long time.

Eli is growing like a weed. Like a weed that weighs like a 25lb sack of 'taters. He is crawling all over the house faster than a jack rabbit on acid. He pulls up and walks his way up down any furniture in the house that has sharp edges, glass doors, hard pointy corners or handles. He yells to drown out any other possible noise that might be in 5 block radius. He poops in such a way that all bugs and small varmints in the vicinity are temporarily stunned into unconsciousness. He loves the bath more than life itself and at this point seems to be leaning towards a career in either piracy or marine biology.

It is nearly July in Texas and I can't think of a day without rain so far this summer. My yard looks like the Serengeti plain (with out the Zebras or is it Zebri?) Our 3 year old Schnauzer Sammey is afraid of the rain and is apparently on a peep and poo strike until further notice. She absolutely refuses to go outside in the rain but is at least being a sport about it and is not doing her business inside either. It is only a matter of hours before her eyes pop out of her head, her kidneys and bowels explode and we loose our security deposit on our house forever.

It has nearly rained out every outdoor student ministry event on the summer calendar thus far. The rain seems to have no end in sight either. And first and foremost I have truly become convinced weathermen/meteorologists are lying through their teeth each and every time some one points a camera toward them. They have absolutely NO freakin' idea of what the weather is going to do more than a few hours at most before it does it.

Still ahead, Mexico Mission trip, plans for Russia and/or Spain, a boatload of $10 Tuesdays, Wednesday night messages, Lake days, movies, dirty diapers and late night typing sessions to rant and rave about all that goes on in around my tiny little brian.

Student Ministry 101 (Examining Your Student Ministry)

Someone recently asked me the purpose of my blog. While most things I do, I do with purpose, my blog has more or less been a scatter shot, stream of conscience type of rambling event. As my career and calling revolves around Student Ministry, I tend to use this blog as a place to process and 'put out there' those ideas, thoughts, readings, happenings, and ideas that fall outside of student ministry. In a way, a place I go to get away from Student Ministry to connect with a wider audience. However, I have decided that several people that read my blog and I connect with through this medium are also interested in, involved in, and living in the trenches of ministry both as laypeople, pastors, and student ministers. On top of that, many are parents of tweens and teens. So in the future I plan on having more content posted here regarding Student Ministry.

So I start here with Dr. Johnny L. Derouen, SWBTS Professor of Student Ministry, and his questions for "Examining Your Youth Ministry."

5 Questions:

1. What does God want of our students?

2. Why do you follow Jesus?

3. What is your student's purpose on this planet?

4. Is God trustworthy?

5. What is your most valuable possession?

How does he answer these:

1. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:33 (ESV)

God wants their everything.

2. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. I Cor. 15:16 (ESV)

Follow Jesus because He is our only hope.

3. And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as
yourself." Luke 10:27 (ESV)

Build your life on and around Jesus.

4. Yes, God is trustworthy so prepare them that discipleship is a life long journey, a process. Move them beyond (ween them off of) the quiet time books and equip them to study the Bible.

Equip them to walk for a lifetime.

5. Your time is the only thing that is yours to give and you can not save it.

Don't waste your life.

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